The Shorts and Shortcuts to Thinking
“Who hate short shorts
We hate short shorts
They’re such short shorts
We hate short shorts
Who hates short shorts
We hate short shorts.”
The Royal Teens had a variation on this bubble gum ditty (above).
It peaked in February 1958, about the same time as I did.
This week someone else decided to take their shorts to the cleaners (funding secured). Whether or not it is a Chinese laundry has not been disclosed. I have asked Mr. Wu, what he should do, but he just diagnosed the Limehouse Chinese Laundry Blues.
US$80 billion to clean your shorts seems a lot to me but what do I know?
Some currencies are fixed and some are floating.
The Turkish Lira and the British Pound are both technically floaters but in a thrilling head-to-head this week they demonstrated that they do not so much float as plummet.
In Britain parliament is in recess until September and so nobody has yet noticed. Spreadsheet Phil is probably on holiday in Tarifa, believing this to be where tariffs come from.
Whilst he builds sand castles in the air Britain decided to speed up the demise of the high street and close everything. All high streets from now on will have to comprise only coffee shops, charity shops and estate agents.
Issues with Issues
The House of Fraser gleefully started the ball rolling by selling itself to Sports Direct. The Home & Garden department will henceforth stock only football boots and the Furniture department will be replaced by tracksuits and trainers.
Are you free, Mr. Ashley?
The infamous Irish airline, Die-in-Air, has suffered a walk out by pilots. You can of course still check in but you can never leave.
Paddy O’Bleary, the avuncular CEO said:
There was Riley pushin’ it, shovin’ it, shushin’ it
Hogan, Logan and everyone in town
Lined up, attackin’ it and shovin’ it and smackin’ it
They might as well have tried to push the Town Hall down
But sadly the plane still did not fly.
The British government has decided to move to Monaco to avoid Brexit. The House of Lords will remain as a mausoleum but the commons will be sub-let.
A spokesperson for the PM in waiting said: there are far fewer letter-boxes in Monaco and we think the will of the people should prevail. We intend to send the £350m we save each week to Monaco to help fund the rich and greedy.
Hu Ziss in Hong Kong