Alan Steel's Traditional Christmas Whisky Cake Recipe

8oz butter

1lb sugar

6 large eggs

2 teaspoons baking powder

1 ½lb flour, sifted

1/2 tsp. salt

1lb pecans, chopped

1 1/2lb white raisins (or use candied fruit)

1 tsp. Nutmeg


~ a very large bottle of whisky ~

First, sample the whisky to check for quality.

Assemble all of the ingredients. Check the whisky again.

To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one large glass and drink.

Repeat this step.

Turn on the electric mixer and beat butter in a large

fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and cream until beat.

Make sure the whisky is still okay... try another glass.

Turn off the mixer. Beat six leggs and add to the bowl,

then chunk in the dried flut. Mix on the tuner.

Throw in two pints of flour. Gradually pour in the cow.

Add 2 dried anything.

If the fried druit gets struck in the beaters, pry it loose with

a drewscriver. Sample the whisky and check it again for tonsistency.

Next, sift a pound of salt. Or something. Who cares???

Check the whisky again.

Now sift the nutmeg and strain your nuts. Add one table.

And the spoon. Of whiskee. Or something. Whatever you find left.

Grease the oven.

Turn the crake pan to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Pour the oven into the batter. Throw the bowl out the window.

Lick the batter off the floor.

Bake 300 minutes at 50 degrees.

Finish the blobble of whishy and flow to bed.


Have a Very Merry Christmas!


Alan Steel
Alan Steel Asset Management Ltd is authorised and regulated by the Financial Conduct Authority

The Financial Conduct Authority does not regulate tax advice

This article is the personal view of Alan Steel. Please check the appropriateness to your individual position with your adviser before taking or refraining from any action.